Mothers and fathers often say that being a mother or father is the best and most difficult job in the world. The best because it brings a new purpose and meaning to life and the worst because the sense of responsibility increases and the demands of caring for a healthy child pose daily challenges.
Choosing to become a parent involves adapting all the roles experienced in the various spheres of life. This adaptation brings with it significant changes accompanied by the fear of failure.
“How can I mitigate my mistakes?”, ‘What should I do in this situation?’, ‘Is this normal behavior for a child?’, ”Am I being a good father or mother?”
Nowadays, we are inundated with information about parenting practices and strategies, whether on social media, in bookstores or on television. Despite the easy access to all this information, the expectations and pressure placed on the quality of parenting leads many fathers and mothers to feel exhausted, lost, scared, guilty and frustrated.
There's an incessant search for answers about breastfeeding, age-appropriate activities, childcare, sleep, screen time, ..... The pressure for their sons and daughters to be the best sleepers, the early nappers, the best students or the most responsible is constantly increasing. The truth is that this pattern of behavior is harmful to both parents and children.
Research has shown that being a parent today can be more stressful than it was a few decades ago, so it's essential to invest in self-care and prevent parental exhaustion.
“How can I look after myself with so much to do?”
Investing in ourselves and our well-being is more important than ever. If we don't take care of ourselves, we'll find it harder to take care of our family and do a good job. However, it's important to remember that the way we invest in ourselves is different for everyone. In other words, what we feel as well-being differs from person to person and depends on the different stages of life.
We don't necessarily need to be “producing” something in our self-care time; taking a deep breath, enjoying a breeze on our face or listening to birds chirping can be enough to replenish our energy. Self-care can mean calmly organizing your routines to include a relaxing bath, or a special snack, watching a series, socializing with loved ones, reading a book, or gazing at the sunset.
Regardless of the activity you choose to do, it's important to remember the basic needs that sometimes get forgotten... Yes, I'm talking about the number of hours you sleep, the type of food you eat, the breaks you take and the exercise you do throughout the day. It sounds cliché, but the truth is that we need to find a balance between personal, family and professional life. Self-care is not a reward for working hard! It must be daily...
“How am I going to practice self-care if I can barely finish everything I have to do for the day?”
I believe that some fathers and mothers see self-care as just another task to be completed and that this somehow prevents them from trying to include these moments. However, this view may be due to a number of reasons, above all a lack of support or the absence of a support network. It's true... Parents also need to be looked after.
To guarantee a child's well-being, we must first ensure that their primary caregivers are well. For this to happen, these caregivers need to have the same love and support that they want to give their children.
Where can they find this? Family, friends or even specialized professionals. The important thing is that any of these people are willing to offer practical help, to comfort, to listen and to provide much-deserved rest.
A strong support network is a real foundation for any parent's mental and emotional health. There really is a reduction in stress and exhaustion and a greater sense of confidence and capability. This, in turn, will have a significantly positive impact on the child or teenager's well-being, creating an emotionally safe environment for their development.
Parents, always remember that raising children and adolescents is an important task and, therefore, in order to do it well, we need to take care of ourselves - our physical and psychological health, our relationships and our well-being. Self-care is good for us, but also for our children.
Oh, one more thing... Although this article is aimed at all those who play the role of parent, it's important to remember that self-care is part of everyone - whether you're a worker, a friend, a child, a nephew, a neighbor, .....
Be aware of your needs!